Final Resting Place

June 8th 2009 Oahu, Hawaii.

It was a cathartic moment for all of us. At a time where I have struggled with my faith or with what it means to have faith in something more than this life. Something more than the hard surfaces I walk on, the heavy weight of the luggage, the savory taste of the local cuisine and sweet smell of the flowers that line the pathways of Waikiki. To see the ashes of my long departed mother cascade down to rest on the lush vegetation below the Pali Lookout gave me a sense of accomplishment. A voice in my head that echoed the thoughts of those around me. “It's done” and so with it a weight was lifted from those who had anticipated this moment for more than 16 years. And as the last remnant of my mother's physical being left the container it happened.

It can best be described as a shudder. It was something that I felt throughout my body, similar to the fatigue after a rough workout. It compromised my physical self where my emotions had stayed intact. It challenged my current belief in the “collision of coincidence” where all things in life are random and we look back on them and try to make sense of them by making weak connections. It brought to question whether my mother's soul or some element of it was trapped in that plastic box for all these years. None of this was expected.

There was something about what brought these people together at this time in my life that made me reconsider what it means to have faith. That which so many depend on in their daily lives. That which has seemed to have left me behind.

More to come...