Thursday, October 09, 2008

We are all screwed

How can I be expected to write my normal pithy remarks about the world around me when my investments are falling like bricks from the top of a watchtower?

Speaking of watchtowers I recently discovered one of my farmers market friends - the guys that sell me crap at the farmers market so they can hide the sales from the government (are weed sales taxable?) - is a Jehovah Witness. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

The guy is a nice enough fellow.

He believes in black helicopters, the second shooter, Area 51 cover up, the Illuminati...

Ya, he's a good egg but kinda kooky. Don't ya know. Drives a Tan Sierra. Right here in Brainard.

We were talking about religion and though he is not one of those guys who would push his on you he believes that only Jehovah witnesses will be saved, go to heaven, meet their creator, whatever.

He said that he used to be a very bad man and once he discovered the watchtower it changed his life, made him a better person. Dude whatever gets you home at night without crashing into a tree.

The witnesses follow "the scripture" word by word which is why they don't celebrate holidays or birthday's, no Christmas, or presents, or cake.

My nephew likes presents. Especially the ones with Benjamin Franklin's picture on them.

Cake is good but for me it has to have butter cream frosting. Love that butter cream frosting.

None of that for the Jehovah Witness. Because he follows the bible to the letter. And because he does this, he and his JW brothers will be the only ones who are "the anointed" who will see God.

But what if the bible turns out to be bullshit?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are asking the wrong question. If it's really BS, then we'll probably never know, so that's moot.

But if it's not, then the logical question is: what if the JW's "translation" of the Bible is flawed? Yes, they have their own translation. Designed to suit their particular biases. How convenient. So the scripture they follow is not The Scripture.

And this so-called religion was founded on one dude's belief that the end days are here - but that was in 1879!!!

Another question: why do most such extreme-religionists seem predisposed to accepting conspiracy theories and UFOs and all other kinds of crap that puts their credibility into a dubious light?

And where the hell does the bible say "no cake"?

Mmmm, butter cream frosting ...

Anonymous said...

Mwaah ha ha ha ha!

Yes, it's BS! It's all BS!!!

Or, maybe, that's just what I want you to think!

Mwaah ha ha ha ha!