Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Open Letter to James Allotey

Or whoever you are.

The spam letter you sent me:

Dearest

Please, I want to introduce myself and this business
opportunity to you.My name is Mr James Allotey , a bank accountant,I will
need your assistance in this business transaction.I would like you to
stand as the next of kin to my deceased customer,Mr David Clemetson, who
died in a plane crash in January 31st 2000 plane crash.Check the
website for the details of the plane crash:

http://archives.cnn.com/2000/US/02/01/alaska.airlines.list/
He was a wealthy medical doctor who made a deposit of
$17Million with
our bank.He died without any registered next of kin and as
such the
funds now have an open beneficiary mandate. If you are
interested please
do let me have your private telephone number so that I can
give you
comprehensive details on what we are to do.

Send me the following information:

1. Your Full name :
2. Your private secured telephone number :
3. Your occupation :
4. Your home or office address :

I urgently hope to get your response as soon as possible.
Best Regards,
James Allotey




I want to thank you and curse you at the same time. You sent me a letter in an attempt to con money out of me like so many of the folks from Nigeria. Your's was the standard format detailing the huge sum of money ($17 million) that could be had if I posed as an heir. All I need to do is send you my contact information to get the ball rolling.

But then in a attempt to legitimize your contention you included this:

http://archives.cnn.com/2000/US/02/01/alaska.airlines.list/



It makes me sick that you would go so low as to include the heartfelt memoirs of real people who lost real friends and family just so you could make a buck. What deceit. Have you no conscience?

At the same time I want to thank you because I didn't know that an archive of this kind existed. Reading notes, at times detailed, on the lives of these poor people who lost their lives too soon put me on that plane. Left me thinking what last thoughts they had and how the people that survived them took the tragic news.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi. I bigfoot. You see news story say I dead in freezer in Georgia. Where Georgia? I in pacific northwest. News story say I dead make me sad. I not dead. Bigfoot a live. See I flex bicep. I big foot and I big bicep and I big peepee. You tell world I not dead. I sad.

Anonymous said...

Hi. I bigfoot. I back. You see news story today say I hoax. I not hoax. Georgia men do hoax. Make me laugh. I told you I not dead in Georgia freezer. Bigfoot a live! A live and free in pacific northwest.

Bigfoot have wireless internet on laptop I steal from camper. Camper high. Many funny weeds in pacific northwest. Camper too high to see me steal laptop. Camper too busy playing with little peepee. Bigfoot not smoke funny weeds.

Bigfoot stealthy! That why no one find me. I not want be found. I stealthy. If I found, then I not so stealthy. Not good for reputation. Big foot, big bicep, big peepee, and stealthy.

I could be Navy SEAL but I not swim. Wet hair get too heavy. My cousin swim in pond, but he shave hair. Think he Navy SEAL. I laugh at him and he cry. Bigfoot cousin a wuss.

Anonymous said...

Me not wuss! You pick on me all the time when I shave hair. Make me good swimmer. I not sink. you sink like poo. Poo on the bottom of pond and you step on it. I not step on poo. I not sink. No poo on my big foot. You sink. You step on poo. You are poo. Stinky poo. Stinky poo on hairy big foot. You not stealthy you smell like poo. People not find you they run from poo smell. "Oh what that smell, maybe big foot, but too smelly so run away!" That why people not find you.

Anonymous said...

On the topic of scams, have you noticed that Obama/Biden spelled backwards is NEDIBAMABO ?!?!?!

Well, okay, that means nothing, but that's what I'm left with. Nothing.

I should be the nominee, not that cocaine-snorting rookie.

And if that be-otch wife of his glares at me one more time, I'll mop the floor with her!

No way, no how, NOBAMA!

McCain '08, ME IN 2012!

Anonymous said...

Wow, that Susan Palin gal is so much more MILFier than I am. I wonder if she goes both ways? Can't wait to see her in DC! Hot hot hawt!

I sincerely urge all of my supporters to vote for her - I mean, to vote for McCain/Palin.

McCain '08, ME IN 2012!

Anonymous said...

I'm watching Susan Palin on TV right now. What a joke!

She is the anti-ME! We are total opposites. She's a PTA mom, for god's sake, without lifelong career ambition. She met her husband in high school and probably actually loves him - unlike my marriage of political convenience to that philanderer Bill.

She's nicely tan and looks great in that navy blue suit. I wonder if she's got tan lines ...

I want her ... I want her bad ...

Oh my.

McCain/Palin '08, ME IN 2012!