Or whoever you are.
The spam letter you sent me:
Dearest
Please, I want to introduce myself and this business
opportunity to you.My name is Mr James Allotey , a bank accountant,I will
need your assistance in this business transaction.I would like you to
stand as the next of kin to my deceased customer,Mr David Clemetson, who
died in a plane crash in January 31st 2000 plane crash.Check the
website for the details of the plane crash:
http://archives.cnn.com/2000/US/02/01/alaska.airlines.list/
He was a wealthy medical doctor who made a deposit of
$17Million with
our bank.He died without any registered next of kin and as
such the
funds now have an open beneficiary mandate. If you are
interested please
do let me have your private telephone number so that I can
give you
comprehensive details on what we are to do.
Send me the following information:
1. Your Full name :
2. Your private secured telephone number :
3. Your occupation :
4. Your home or office address :
I urgently hope to get your response as soon as possible.
Best Regards,
James Allotey
I want to thank you and curse you at the same time. You sent me a letter in an attempt to con money out of me like so many of the folks from Nigeria. Your's was the standard format detailing the huge sum of money ($17 million) that could be had if I posed as an heir. All I need to do is send you my contact information to get the ball rolling.
But then in a attempt to legitimize your contention you included this:
http://archives.cnn.com/2000/US/02/01/alaska.airlines.list/
It makes me sick that you would go so low as to include the heartfelt memoirs of real people who lost real friends and family just so you could make a buck. What deceit. Have you no conscience?
At the same time I want to thank you because I didn't know that an archive of this kind existed. Reading notes, at times detailed, on the lives of these poor people who lost their lives too soon put me on that plane. Left me thinking what last thoughts they had and how the people that survived them took the tragic news.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Brett the Jet
Whether Brett Favre is to wear a Packer jersey or not has been up in the air for the last week or so. Well today he became a Jet and to me that makes no sense. I guess he wants to live in New York so he can hear Opie & Anthony everyday on regular radio, those satellite bills can be expensive for a pro quarterback. He said he wants to play for a team in contention, a team good enough to make it to the big game.
The Jets?
Over the Bucs?
Why would the guy choose a team that plays the Pats twice a year? What support staff do the Jets have to help him reach the Superbowl? Why couldn’t he reach an agreement with Green Bay? He was one pass away from the big game last year, now he’s on the "other team" that plays in New York who didn't make it to the Superbowl last year.
If the reports of his belligerence with Green Bay officials were correct he would have made a perfect Raider.
Did you know that he is on the cover of the latest version of Madden football?
http://www.circuitcity.com/ccd/genericContent.do?oid=216745&c=1
I wonder if they can reprint all the labels and put a Jets jersey on them before next Tuesday?
Do you think when they chose him back in the spring to be the cover boy they thought “this guy won’t suffer from the ‘Madden Curse’ because he’s already retired”
Not so much.
The Jets?
Over the Bucs?
Why would the guy choose a team that plays the Pats twice a year? What support staff do the Jets have to help him reach the Superbowl? Why couldn’t he reach an agreement with Green Bay? He was one pass away from the big game last year, now he’s on the "other team" that plays in New York who didn't make it to the Superbowl last year.
If the reports of his belligerence with Green Bay officials were correct he would have made a perfect Raider.
Did you know that he is on the cover of the latest version of Madden football?
http://www.circuitcity.com/ccd/genericContent.do?oid=216745&c=1
I wonder if they can reprint all the labels and put a Jets jersey on them before next Tuesday?
Do you think when they chose him back in the spring to be the cover boy they thought “this guy won’t suffer from the ‘Madden Curse’ because he’s already retired”
Not so much.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
U-PLAY
"Viva La Vida" because death will strike you down one day and all this will be gone.
In my favorite track "42" of the latest Coldplay release Chris Martin sings "Those who are dead are not dead, they're just living my head".
INDEED.
In mine as well Chris.
But we are not crazy are we? We might be ghosts. Or at least maybe we just think we are.
42, the answer to the greatest riddle of the universe is a "rite of passage" track. It melds the Coldplay we know and love with the new "Brian Enoized" Coldplay which sounds similar to Bono and the boys from Ireland. I call the new band U-PLAY.
"Life in Technicolour" opens with a unforgettable whirl of sound that is reminiscent of a fire once stoked in an abandoned castle.
"Lovers in Japan - Reign of Love" could easily be a track on "Joshua Tree" but it would have a more earth-conscious title like "Revelation in the city of fossil fuels".
The album concludes with the reassurance that we will die at some point but that Death is our buddy. Followed by that familiar whirl from the beginning to complete the U-Play journey.
Kind of hokie, kind of cliche'
I LOVE IT!
A MODERN MASTERPIECE!
I WANT MORE!
In my favorite track "42" of the latest Coldplay release Chris Martin sings "Those who are dead are not dead, they're just living my head".
INDEED.
In mine as well Chris.
But we are not crazy are we? We might be ghosts. Or at least maybe we just think we are.
42, the answer to the greatest riddle of the universe is a "rite of passage" track. It melds the Coldplay we know and love with the new "Brian Enoized" Coldplay which sounds similar to Bono and the boys from Ireland. I call the new band U-PLAY.
"Life in Technicolour" opens with a unforgettable whirl of sound that is reminiscent of a fire once stoked in an abandoned castle.
"Lovers in Japan - Reign of Love" could easily be a track on "Joshua Tree" but it would have a more earth-conscious title like "Revelation in the city of fossil fuels".
The album concludes with the reassurance that we will die at some point but that Death is our buddy. Followed by that familiar whirl from the beginning to complete the U-Play journey.
Kind of hokie, kind of cliche'
I LOVE IT!
A MODERN MASTERPIECE!
I WANT MORE!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Smorstick
A brilliant man once said "Smores don't taste that good, they are just fun to make".
Well the other day at the beach in celebration of a special birthday the fire was blazin and the kids were dangling their marshmallow covered "smorsticks" hoping to toast them just good enough so they are melty but not create too much cancer. One of the moms warned "Don't burn them because the black stuff will give you cancer". I guess she's not a big fan of Carl's Jr or any barbecue food. I mean what is this bitch thinking? Scaring the kids into thinking that they will die if they eat a marshmallow that's slightly charred? I love that charred stuff. Have you been to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse? A slice of heaven the steaks are there with that nice charred exterior and that "great-4-you" garlic butter sauce. I don't know how anyone could live without barbecue. You would probably have to eat a 100lbs of charred meat in one sitting to take in enough cancer causing crap (ccc) to affect you.
Holy shit!
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19real.html?_r=1&scp=4&sq=barbeque%20causes%20cancer&st=cse&oref=slogin
We're all going to die! And it's because we like our barbecued meats. Maybe that's the reason the life expectancy of the African American... maybe I shouldn't go there. My apologies to the nappy among us and that lady I called a bitch. She was a nice lady, I am an ass.
Anyway back in his days in Holland or Denmark or Stuttgart or wherever he came from my good friend Cor as a young Leganheighen (Dutch Weblo) invented the Smorstick. It was quite an accomplishment as previously the little people of Leftinghaus used their fingers to melt marshmallows which often caused severe burns. In addition at times their fingers had teeth marks on them when they forgot to remove them from between the marshmallow, chocolate and graham crackers in a rush to ingest those heavenly delights.
The smorstick was of simple design a stiff wire glued inside the circular husk of what is known today as cardboard tubing but back then was considered "the finest of material for making the strongest of Dutch furniture". To see Cor use his tribal knowledge and some Gorilla Tape to create the most efficient way to maneuver a marshmallow over flame was a thing of beauty.
Well the other day at the beach in celebration of a special birthday the fire was blazin and the kids were dangling their marshmallow covered "smorsticks" hoping to toast them just good enough so they are melty but not create too much cancer. One of the moms warned "Don't burn them because the black stuff will give you cancer". I guess she's not a big fan of Carl's Jr or any barbecue food. I mean what is this bitch thinking? Scaring the kids into thinking that they will die if they eat a marshmallow that's slightly charred? I love that charred stuff. Have you been to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse? A slice of heaven the steaks are there with that nice charred exterior and that "great-4-you" garlic butter sauce. I don't know how anyone could live without barbecue. You would probably have to eat a 100lbs of charred meat in one sitting to take in enough cancer causing crap (ccc) to affect you.
Holy shit!
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19real.html?_r=1&scp=4&sq=barbeque%20causes%20cancer&st=cse&oref=slogin
We're all going to die! And it's because we like our barbecued meats. Maybe that's the reason the life expectancy of the African American... maybe I shouldn't go there. My apologies to the nappy among us and that lady I called a bitch. She was a nice lady, I am an ass.
Anyway back in his days in Holland or Denmark or Stuttgart or wherever he came from my good friend Cor as a young Leganheighen (Dutch Weblo) invented the Smorstick. It was quite an accomplishment as previously the little people of Leftinghaus used their fingers to melt marshmallows which often caused severe burns. In addition at times their fingers had teeth marks on them when they forgot to remove them from between the marshmallow, chocolate and graham crackers in a rush to ingest those heavenly delights.
The smorstick was of simple design a stiff wire glued inside the circular husk of what is known today as cardboard tubing but back then was considered "the finest of material for making the strongest of Dutch furniture". To see Cor use his tribal knowledge and some Gorilla Tape to create the most efficient way to maneuver a marshmallow over flame was a thing of beauty.
Quaken
This morning on my drive to work I started to get a bad feeling. It wasn't the normal indigestion of excessive drinking from the night before, I don't usually start the weeks embibing until Wednesday.
I had this feeling of impending doom. I was fearing something bad was going to happen. I though Nina might have car problems or be in danger. Since I vowed to listen to my sixth sense and not ignore it. I thought I would give Nina a call and let her know to be careful. I was happy that she got to work and everything seemed fine.
Then 11:42am came and an earthquake that seemed to last a full minute rumbled it's way under our feet.
I was not scared but became concerned when I couldn't reach my wife as the cell phones were out. It turned out Nina was able contact me on a land line. She was safe.
Maybe I am full of crap but I really think this sixth sense of mine has some strange source that is trying to legitamize itself. I mean why would I have any sense something was going to happen.
Or that I will be working for DirectTV soon.
Later
I had this feeling of impending doom. I was fearing something bad was going to happen. I though Nina might have car problems or be in danger. Since I vowed to listen to my sixth sense and not ignore it. I thought I would give Nina a call and let her know to be careful. I was happy that she got to work and everything seemed fine.
Then 11:42am came and an earthquake that seemed to last a full minute rumbled it's way under our feet.
I was not scared but became concerned when I couldn't reach my wife as the cell phones were out. It turned out Nina was able contact me on a land line. She was safe.
Maybe I am full of crap but I really think this sixth sense of mine has some strange source that is trying to legitamize itself. I mean why would I have any sense something was going to happen.
Or that I will be working for DirectTV soon.
Later
Friday, July 25, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Car Shopping Redefined
I remember back in the day when shopping was something you did in stores. Today we have the internet so shopping is now something we do wherever there is an internet connection. When purchasing a used car this year I was able to use online shopping to give me the advantage over the car dealer.
I started off by finding what is called a “web forum” which is a website where people who have an interest in a topic go to share knowledge. This was a good place to hear people's experience and complaints with the car and give details on what to look for in evaluating the car. To find a forum simply enter the subject you are interested in plus the word “forum” in a Google or Yahoo search. (e.g. “BMW forum”)
I then used “Yahoo Autos” (www.yahoo.com) to search the available cars in my area. Many of the dealer listings provide a link to a free CarFax report that gives the history of each car. Dealerships usually maintain inventories of the used cars they have on the lot at their websites. What this allows you to do is watch the movement of their cars over a period of time (I shopped for about 3 months) and tell when a car has been sitting on the lot for an extended period. This gives you a huge advantage when negotiating the price at the dealer. If the dealer says “I can’t sell the car for that price” you simply reply “How much will it cost you to let it sit here another month?”
Of course your mileage may vary but I think these tools can certainly help you get the killer deal I got in my recent car purchase.
I should be charging for this crap but you get it free for visiting MOSSNEWS!
I started off by finding what is called a “web forum” which is a website where people who have an interest in a topic go to share knowledge. This was a good place to hear people's experience and complaints with the car and give details on what to look for in evaluating the car. To find a forum simply enter the subject you are interested in plus the word “forum” in a Google or Yahoo search. (e.g. “BMW forum”)
I then used “Yahoo Autos” (www.yahoo.com) to search the available cars in my area. Many of the dealer listings provide a link to a free CarFax report that gives the history of each car. Dealerships usually maintain inventories of the used cars they have on the lot at their websites. What this allows you to do is watch the movement of their cars over a period of time (I shopped for about 3 months) and tell when a car has been sitting on the lot for an extended period. This gives you a huge advantage when negotiating the price at the dealer. If the dealer says “I can’t sell the car for that price” you simply reply “How much will it cost you to let it sit here another month?”
Of course your mileage may vary but I think these tools can certainly help you get the killer deal I got in my recent car purchase.
I should be charging for this crap but you get it free for visiting MOSSNEWS!
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Dukacab
In putting together a "mixtape" for a guys trip to Vegas I came across some old favorites and some of them stuck. I was amused by the stuff we thought was cool when we were young and I felt nostalgic listening to "The Cure", "The Jam", "Echo & The Bunnymen", "The Smiths". How we thought one band was "gay" when another one that sounded similar was cool struck me funny but we were kids after all. Kids don't know crap.
One thing that really stuck with me was my CD's of Genesis's "Duke" & "Abacab".
When the tune "Keep it Dark", the story of a man trapped by his fear who dreams of the world outside but is too scared to open the shades, came on the stereo one of my friends said "what is this?". I guess we didn't all listen to the same stuff back then.
As my Genesis CD's are now converted to MP3 and thrown together in a single folder the two became a mixtape of their own sorted by cut number and song title instead of by album. Call it "Abacuke" or "Dukacab". Whatever it is it takes two thematic masterpieces and creates a melange of messages that question issues of socioeconomic differences through a battle of good vs. evil intermixed with an examination of the insecurity we all possess inside.
Phil Collins, yes kids he had a career before going solo, belts out a series of emotionally wrenching hymns about those whose value is in their possessions and who ignore the damage caused to nature that surrounds us. The end result making him "feel like an alien, a stranger in an alien place". Followed by the lonely man who "is just waiting for someone to show" and deliver him from the purgatory that is his life.
Is life a battle of good versus evil or is it merely finding the balance in all of us the makes living OK?
One thing that really stuck with me was my CD's of Genesis's "Duke" & "Abacab".
When the tune "Keep it Dark", the story of a man trapped by his fear who dreams of the world outside but is too scared to open the shades, came on the stereo one of my friends said "what is this?". I guess we didn't all listen to the same stuff back then.
As my Genesis CD's are now converted to MP3 and thrown together in a single folder the two became a mixtape of their own sorted by cut number and song title instead of by album. Call it "Abacuke" or "Dukacab". Whatever it is it takes two thematic masterpieces and creates a melange of messages that question issues of socioeconomic differences through a battle of good vs. evil intermixed with an examination of the insecurity we all possess inside.
Phil Collins, yes kids he had a career before going solo, belts out a series of emotionally wrenching hymns about those whose value is in their possessions and who ignore the damage caused to nature that surrounds us. The end result making him "feel like an alien, a stranger in an alien place". Followed by the lonely man who "is just waiting for someone to show" and deliver him from the purgatory that is his life.
Is life a battle of good versus evil or is it merely finding the balance in all of us the makes living OK?
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Listening to my Sixth Sense
Some people call it intuition, some think they are psychic, some think that there is an angel looking over them or a message from a loved one who has passed. I am not sure what it is but it seems that lately my sixth sense has taken over.
So I am in Las Vegas and I am walking through the Casino and before I sit down at a table I know whether I will win or lose. It's when I don't listen to my sixth sense that I lose because every time it told me to play I won. It's uncanny and I didn't have to be drunk for it to speak to me.
For example:
I was playing a version of Texas Hold'em that my buddies like at the Hard Rock Casino and just had a bad feeling about it. The dealers were cool, the game is fun and we were having a good time but the bad feeling persisted. I lost $100 very quickly so I left the table. My buddy Erik left at the same time and I asked if he wanted to play some blackjack and we walked to the blackjack tables. None seemed like the place to sit but then I passed by a craps table it was as though the Nubian Queen dealer was beckoning me to play. I ignored it at first because I don't like to play craps unless there is a low limit but after a second pass around the casino and a second come hither look I was taken in. It was a blast and I won more than the $100 I had lost at the other table.
This kept happening to me, whether it was the table I was sitting at or the seat at the table I was sitting at I knew whether it was in the cards (or dice) for me to win. Next time I will listen to my sixth sense.
So I am in Las Vegas and I am walking through the Casino and before I sit down at a table I know whether I will win or lose. It's when I don't listen to my sixth sense that I lose because every time it told me to play I won. It's uncanny and I didn't have to be drunk for it to speak to me.
For example:
I was playing a version of Texas Hold'em that my buddies like at the Hard Rock Casino and just had a bad feeling about it. The dealers were cool, the game is fun and we were having a good time but the bad feeling persisted. I lost $100 very quickly so I left the table. My buddy Erik left at the same time and I asked if he wanted to play some blackjack and we walked to the blackjack tables. None seemed like the place to sit but then I passed by a craps table it was as though the Nubian Queen dealer was beckoning me to play. I ignored it at first because I don't like to play craps unless there is a low limit but after a second pass around the casino and a second come hither look I was taken in. It was a blast and I won more than the $100 I had lost at the other table.
This kept happening to me, whether it was the table I was sitting at or the seat at the table I was sitting at I knew whether it was in the cards (or dice) for me to win. Next time I will listen to my sixth sense.
Monday, June 30, 2008
With A Little Help From My Friends
What would you do if you couldn't find your way?
If you felt like you had lost your grip and there was nowhere to turn?
What if you thought that the world was closing in and you were trapped?
You might send an e-mail to some old friends.
And that might result in the a trip to Las Vegas.
The reuniting of longtime friends for a couple nights of gambling, drinking, and good times
And the start of a new tradition
It was good.
If you felt like you had lost your grip and there was nowhere to turn?
What if you thought that the world was closing in and you were trapped?
You might send an e-mail to some old friends.
And that might result in the a trip to Las Vegas.
The reuniting of longtime friends for a couple nights of gambling, drinking, and good times
And the start of a new tradition
It was good.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Understanding
The world is too complex to provide understanding.
There is too much cultural division to be understood.
Our differences make understanding impossible.
How can I be expected to understand something if you do not teach me?
That's the way it is, it's not for you to understand.
To be understood is to let down your guard to impending marauders!
Why aren't you with us, don't you understand the consequences of not being in the gang?
The greatest satisfaction comes from true understanding
Get me?
There is too much cultural division to be understood.
Our differences make understanding impossible.
How can I be expected to understand something if you do not teach me?
That's the way it is, it's not for you to understand.
To be understood is to let down your guard to impending marauders!
Why aren't you with us, don't you understand the consequences of not being in the gang?
The greatest satisfaction comes from true understanding
Get me?
Friday, June 13, 2008
So you think I can write?
I've been told I have the writing chops but I guess it's the reader to decide.
Since it's "so you think you can dance" season and my wife and are big fans of the show (american idol who?) I see it an interesting subject to comment on. Each year we are treated with some very talented dancers but it seems to me that what makes this show so great is when the music, choreography, and dance come together in such a way that it's a heart felt moving experience.
Such was the case the other night when Katee and Joshua danced to the Jordan Sparks/Chris Brown tune "No Air". These two dancers portrayed the emotional side effects of a broken relationship in such a way that it spoke to my heart, brought a tear to my eye. Choreographers Tabitha & Napoleon did a superb job providing the framework for Katee & Joshua to hip hop their way through pain and joy of relationship. A truely amazing performance.
My Mom and Dad were such big fans of dance and now that they are gone I feel, when I see a performance that reaches into my soul, reconnected to them. I wish that when they were alive I had the passion they had for dance that I could have shared this with them. Hopefully I am sharing it with them here.
Mom - I still feel that tingle on the back of my neck
Dad - Do you get to hear Amy Winehouse up there?
Since it's "so you think you can dance" season and my wife and are big fans of the show (american idol who?) I see it an interesting subject to comment on. Each year we are treated with some very talented dancers but it seems to me that what makes this show so great is when the music, choreography, and dance come together in such a way that it's a heart felt moving experience.
Such was the case the other night when Katee and Joshua danced to the Jordan Sparks/Chris Brown tune "No Air". These two dancers portrayed the emotional side effects of a broken relationship in such a way that it spoke to my heart, brought a tear to my eye. Choreographers Tabitha & Napoleon did a superb job providing the framework for Katee & Joshua to hip hop their way through pain and joy of relationship. A truely amazing performance.
My Mom and Dad were such big fans of dance and now that they are gone I feel, when I see a performance that reaches into my soul, reconnected to them. I wish that when they were alive I had the passion they had for dance that I could have shared this with them. Hopefully I am sharing it with them here.
Mom - I still feel that tingle on the back of my neck
Dad - Do you get to hear Amy Winehouse up there?
Thursday, June 12, 2008
The Journey Begins
These are the times that try mens souls. Or at least my neck, back, and brain are not too happy. When you live amongst the vermin that want nothing more than to put you down to get ahead there comes a time when you have to toss it all aside and find a new avenue. There comes a time when we who have been loyal and supportive realize that there is no future in the current environment, no turn before the dead end. Simply put, it's time to go.
But where to go? How do you determine the next path to take?
We all want the power to drive our own destiny but living in a day to day corporate world we get too wrapped up in the trappings of reaching the next paycheck instead of finding what our soul is searching for. For me I think my soul is search for this. For the ability to express my opinions freely. To be heard and appreciated. To enrich others lives with my thoughts and feelings and hopefully make a few sheckels along the way.
It's to this end that I have returned to the world of the blogger. A mine field of contradiction and rhetoric. Where I can put it plain and simple. Where I can have my opinions heard. At least by some.
I welcome you on this journey with me.
But where to go? How do you determine the next path to take?
We all want the power to drive our own destiny but living in a day to day corporate world we get too wrapped up in the trappings of reaching the next paycheck instead of finding what our soul is searching for. For me I think my soul is search for this. For the ability to express my opinions freely. To be heard and appreciated. To enrich others lives with my thoughts and feelings and hopefully make a few sheckels along the way.
It's to this end that I have returned to the world of the blogger. A mine field of contradiction and rhetoric. Where I can put it plain and simple. Where I can have my opinions heard. At least by some.
I welcome you on this journey with me.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Opie & Anthony in L.A.
With the impending merger of XM & Sirius it is more important today than ever to get the PESTS (POWS) out for Opie & Anthony. No one knows if phoney hoo hoo and his Daddy Karmazi will work with The BOYS so e-mail these guys http://971freefm.com/pages/1537.php and bring O&A and Ron&Fez to L.A. radio where they belong!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Memorial Street
Yesterday I was at a memorial service for my Dad. If I ever had doubt that he was a kind and gentle spirit those doubts disappeared as people who were business associates, colleagues, students of, or just friends came to me one after the other to tell me how kind, caring, and genuine my Dad was.
Roy, a guy I knew when I was a kid and would visit my Dad’s TV station, came up to me and said that Dad was the kind of guy who cared for the people he worked with. Who nurtured and supported them so they could get ahead. Roy told me about how he moved his way up the career ladder from a guy who kept the library of film to an editor (maybe before he was actually ready). All along my Dad knew how to encourage and teach those around him so they could reach their potential. He tried to hide them behind his sunglasses but I saw the tears that came to his eyes as Roy said how much he loved and missed my Dad.
I was able to place names with faces as all these people from Dad’s past came to pay their respects. Two of his close friends, Ken & Dave, talked about Dad’s accomplishments and his heart. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place as we all remembered how loving and generous he was.
After the service we had some time to visit with each other and share remembrances and I especially enjoyed speaking to Dave who was my Dad’s closest friend over the last 20 years. Dave has the grin of Old St. Nick and you could feel the warmth of his friendship with my Dad in the way he spoke of him.
Even though we came to honor my father there was an underlying stress to this event. A tension that stemmed from someone who deep down inside didn’t feel like sharing. A person who the world revolves around and loves the spotlight but hates criticism. Avoiding those things that are hard to accept and returning to apologize the next day to those offended when it’s already too late. This person is frustrated because even though the person thinks they are saying the right thing most of the time it is not about what you SAY but what you DO that defines your character. Certainly people mourn in different ways but it is offensive when one persons mourning has damaging effects to other mourners. This certainly can’t be good for the offender either.
I wonder what goes on in the head of a person like this.
I wonder what they dream of.
I wonder if there is any chance that this person will change or if they’re an old dog who has long since given up on new tricks.
I just fall back to my standard mantra these days:
“What would Dad have wanted?
What would he do?
What would he want me to do?”
Roy, a guy I knew when I was a kid and would visit my Dad’s TV station, came up to me and said that Dad was the kind of guy who cared for the people he worked with. Who nurtured and supported them so they could get ahead. Roy told me about how he moved his way up the career ladder from a guy who kept the library of film to an editor (maybe before he was actually ready). All along my Dad knew how to encourage and teach those around him so they could reach their potential. He tried to hide them behind his sunglasses but I saw the tears that came to his eyes as Roy said how much he loved and missed my Dad.
I was able to place names with faces as all these people from Dad’s past came to pay their respects. Two of his close friends, Ken & Dave, talked about Dad’s accomplishments and his heart. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place as we all remembered how loving and generous he was.
After the service we had some time to visit with each other and share remembrances and I especially enjoyed speaking to Dave who was my Dad’s closest friend over the last 20 years. Dave has the grin of Old St. Nick and you could feel the warmth of his friendship with my Dad in the way he spoke of him.
Even though we came to honor my father there was an underlying stress to this event. A tension that stemmed from someone who deep down inside didn’t feel like sharing. A person who the world revolves around and loves the spotlight but hates criticism. Avoiding those things that are hard to accept and returning to apologize the next day to those offended when it’s already too late. This person is frustrated because even though the person thinks they are saying the right thing most of the time it is not about what you SAY but what you DO that defines your character. Certainly people mourn in different ways but it is offensive when one persons mourning has damaging effects to other mourners. This certainly can’t be good for the offender either.
I wonder what goes on in the head of a person like this.
I wonder what they dream of.
I wonder if there is any chance that this person will change or if they’re an old dog who has long since given up on new tricks.
I just fall back to my standard mantra these days:
“What would Dad have wanted?
What would he do?
What would he want me to do?”
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Numbers
I felt the warmth of my friends and family around me and it helped to ease the blow of what had happened but there was still emptiness. I am still in shock; I can’t get over the fact that he is gone. Sure the support is great but if I am looking for closure I didn’t find it. Though I think this event may be a step in the right direction but I still feel lost.
In my dreams that night I saw my Dad for the first time since his death. I don’t know why it took nearly two weeks for him to show up in my dreams but there he was. I saw a vivid image of him pointing to numbers on a telephone. Telling me to remember these numbers. I found myself repeating them in my head, making sure I didn’t forget and telling myself that I can’t forget to write them down when I awake.
The following day I felt as though a dark cloud was above my head. No longer did I have the open house preparation at the forefront of my mind, keeping it busy. Now all that was left was loss, emptiness and those 11 numbers. I wish I knew what those numbers meant. I looked them up as though they were a phone number and found they referenced a couple in Michigan, the Templins.
How strange would it be for me to call the Templins up and find out if they knew my Dad?
How amazing would it be if they had some connection?
How terrific would it be if they could help me find answers to the questions and doubts that invade my head?
I haven’t called.
In my dreams that night I saw my Dad for the first time since his death. I don’t know why it took nearly two weeks for him to show up in my dreams but there he was. I saw a vivid image of him pointing to numbers on a telephone. Telling me to remember these numbers. I found myself repeating them in my head, making sure I didn’t forget and telling myself that I can’t forget to write them down when I awake.
The following day I felt as though a dark cloud was above my head. No longer did I have the open house preparation at the forefront of my mind, keeping it busy. Now all that was left was loss, emptiness and those 11 numbers. I wish I knew what those numbers meant. I looked them up as though they were a phone number and found they referenced a couple in Michigan, the Templins.
How strange would it be for me to call the Templins up and find out if they knew my Dad?
How amazing would it be if they had some connection?
How terrific would it be if they could help me find answers to the questions and doubts that invade my head?
I haven’t called.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
My Dad
I have sat down six times over the last few days to write down these words. They may not be completely coherent but I will do my best.
On Monday November 27th at 5:15am my Dad died, 7 days after his 68th birthday. Before he left even though he was not able to communicate we were able to tell him how much we love him and he heard us.
I send this out to all the people that loved him, knew him, or simply were familiar with my Dad's struggle with diabetes and kidney disease. As I write this so many thoughts are swirling around in my head: the regret of not having enough time with him, the wish that I could turn back time (like Hiro Nakamura in the show Heroes) and somehow change what happened, the hopes and dreams we shared for his future, the emptiness inside me after losing him.
On October 28th my Dad finally got the chance he had waited more than 8 years for, a kidney match had been made. When they performed the surgery on October 29th the doctors found that Dad has a massive infection in the cavity around his stomach that had gone undetected. This infection had it been found before the surgery would have resulted in his being denied the transplant. They also found a carcinoma in his bowel which they removed. So when the surgery which lasted more than 8 hours was complete the doctors had saved his life whether the kidney functioned or not. The coming weeks found slow progress with the kidney but by mid November my Dad began to do something that he hadn't done the previous 8 years. He began to pee. It wasn't as much as a healthy person, he was urinating somewhere between a pint and a quart of liquid a day, but it was far more that the one ounce a day he had become used to.
During his recovery we enjoyed some good times. Nina and I visited UCLA frequently and most of the visits we spent talking about TV, movies, current events and on occasion I would bring in some of Dad's favorite foods including dim sum. I loved so much the talks we had.
One of Dad's gifts was the ability to layout a problem that I presented him so I could see the outcome should I pick one solution or another. I will forever be grateful for this gift and I have and will continue to practice it with others for the rest of my life.
He was always supportive and never judgmental. It was not a surprise that his heart required a bypass and so much maintenance over the years because it was so big, so charitable, and so full of love. He was strong and tough when it was required but you always knew what an old softie he was inside. He was a fighter and a survivor who had beat the odds time and time again. He was my Hero.
On November 20th I visited Dad for his birthday and he was in good shape but tired from the physical therapy he had performed that day. I was lucky enough to be there when he got one of the best birthday presents ever. A visit from his grandson TJ and TJ's girlfriend Michelle. I was so surprised and happy to see them and the minute Dad saw them there was this amazing warmth that filled the room as Dad cried with happiness. Yes the old softie had come out once again.
At some point during the following week he contracted an infection that didn't show itself until late Thursday night. From that point on doctors tried everything they could to give him a chance to fight the infection and the nurses tried to give us hope but by Sunday morning I think we all knew the end was near.
Though he had been in a coma that was induced by the infection and he could not speak I discovered through the day Sunday that he was hearing what I said to him at each visit. During one of my visits in the early afternoon I got up in his face to tell him how much I love him and to give him a hug as he lay there in his hospital bed. At that moment I thought I saw his head move. The first response I had seen from him in many days. When Nina and I walked out the ICU I told her that I could have sworn I saw his head move and that he heard what I was saying. She told me she saw his leg move when I was talking to him. I went back to his bedside a few minutes later to confirm my feelings and he was able to raise an eyebrow, and give me a partial grin to let me know he heard me.
On Sunday Night my Step-Mom Jan and a couple of chaplains from the hospital visited him to give a blessing based on his Episcopal Faith. Following this first Nina and I and then my brother Tom and his wife Cari were able to visit him one last time. On this visit my brother and I told my father pretty much the same words. We told him that we love him and that it is up to him if he wants to keep fighting and that if he was tired and ready to leave us that it was ok. That if he wanted to continue fighting we would support him but we didn't want him to fight just for us. I told him how much I love him and that I would take care of Jan and the others he left behind. As I said these words I saw a tear come from his eye.
In my grief I write these words and I hope that this letter is not seen as burden on you. If nothing else it is a celebration of my father and the love I have for him and a part of the process that I must go through to find the closure I so desperately need. Hopefully as time passes what will remain are memories of the good times we had.
On Monday November 27th at 5:15am my Dad died, 7 days after his 68th birthday. Before he left even though he was not able to communicate we were able to tell him how much we love him and he heard us.
I send this out to all the people that loved him, knew him, or simply were familiar with my Dad's struggle with diabetes and kidney disease. As I write this so many thoughts are swirling around in my head: the regret of not having enough time with him, the wish that I could turn back time (like Hiro Nakamura in the show Heroes) and somehow change what happened, the hopes and dreams we shared for his future, the emptiness inside me after losing him.
On October 28th my Dad finally got the chance he had waited more than 8 years for, a kidney match had been made. When they performed the surgery on October 29th the doctors found that Dad has a massive infection in the cavity around his stomach that had gone undetected. This infection had it been found before the surgery would have resulted in his being denied the transplant. They also found a carcinoma in his bowel which they removed. So when the surgery which lasted more than 8 hours was complete the doctors had saved his life whether the kidney functioned or not. The coming weeks found slow progress with the kidney but by mid November my Dad began to do something that he hadn't done the previous 8 years. He began to pee. It wasn't as much as a healthy person, he was urinating somewhere between a pint and a quart of liquid a day, but it was far more that the one ounce a day he had become used to.
During his recovery we enjoyed some good times. Nina and I visited UCLA frequently and most of the visits we spent talking about TV, movies, current events and on occasion I would bring in some of Dad's favorite foods including dim sum. I loved so much the talks we had.
One of Dad's gifts was the ability to layout a problem that I presented him so I could see the outcome should I pick one solution or another. I will forever be grateful for this gift and I have and will continue to practice it with others for the rest of my life.
He was always supportive and never judgmental. It was not a surprise that his heart required a bypass and so much maintenance over the years because it was so big, so charitable, and so full of love. He was strong and tough when it was required but you always knew what an old softie he was inside. He was a fighter and a survivor who had beat the odds time and time again. He was my Hero.
On November 20th I visited Dad for his birthday and he was in good shape but tired from the physical therapy he had performed that day. I was lucky enough to be there when he got one of the best birthday presents ever. A visit from his grandson TJ and TJ's girlfriend Michelle. I was so surprised and happy to see them and the minute Dad saw them there was this amazing warmth that filled the room as Dad cried with happiness. Yes the old softie had come out once again.
At some point during the following week he contracted an infection that didn't show itself until late Thursday night. From that point on doctors tried everything they could to give him a chance to fight the infection and the nurses tried to give us hope but by Sunday morning I think we all knew the end was near.
Though he had been in a coma that was induced by the infection and he could not speak I discovered through the day Sunday that he was hearing what I said to him at each visit. During one of my visits in the early afternoon I got up in his face to tell him how much I love him and to give him a hug as he lay there in his hospital bed. At that moment I thought I saw his head move. The first response I had seen from him in many days. When Nina and I walked out the ICU I told her that I could have sworn I saw his head move and that he heard what I was saying. She told me she saw his leg move when I was talking to him. I went back to his bedside a few minutes later to confirm my feelings and he was able to raise an eyebrow, and give me a partial grin to let me know he heard me.
On Sunday Night my Step-Mom Jan and a couple of chaplains from the hospital visited him to give a blessing based on his Episcopal Faith. Following this first Nina and I and then my brother Tom and his wife Cari were able to visit him one last time. On this visit my brother and I told my father pretty much the same words. We told him that we love him and that it is up to him if he wants to keep fighting and that if he was tired and ready to leave us that it was ok. That if he wanted to continue fighting we would support him but we didn't want him to fight just for us. I told him how much I love him and that I would take care of Jan and the others he left behind. As I said these words I saw a tear come from his eye.
In my grief I write these words and I hope that this letter is not seen as burden on you. If nothing else it is a celebration of my father and the love I have for him and a part of the process that I must go through to find the closure I so desperately need. Hopefully as time passes what will remain are memories of the good times we had.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Get rich quick
Someone just hit the powerball for $340 million. This person had a 1 in 146 million chance and they hit it. And this person lives in Oregon where $340 million might as well be 340 extillion trillion dillion. More money than you could possibly spend.
We all wonder if that will ever happen to us. I am convinced that it won't for me. I found the following article interesting in the words that scammers use to justify their actions. Usually the justification is that they are a robin hood like being taking from the rich (Americans) and giving to the poor (themselves). Just like the drug trade this is a no win situation for anyone. Even the scammer loses when he wastes his money on furr sinks & electric dog polishers.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/latimests/20051020/ts_latimes/iwilleatyourdollars
Since I know someone who fell for a scam like this and still believes in it I know that this is a reality even in 2005. They target the elderly because they are more trusting. Perhaps it's a good thing that grandma doesn't have a computer or know how to e-mail? She can be protected. But then again my grandma is so stingy I can't image her sending money to Nigeria to a stranger. It's sad that I know someone who has been taken for a huge sum of money yet I do not know someone who has won a huge sum.
Stay informed, protect the elderly in your family and FIGHT BACK!
We all wonder if that will ever happen to us. I am convinced that it won't for me. I found the following article interesting in the words that scammers use to justify their actions. Usually the justification is that they are a robin hood like being taking from the rich (Americans) and giving to the poor (themselves). Just like the drug trade this is a no win situation for anyone. Even the scammer loses when he wastes his money on furr sinks & electric dog polishers.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/latimests/20051020/ts_latimes/iwilleatyourdollars
Since I know someone who fell for a scam like this and still believes in it I know that this is a reality even in 2005. They target the elderly because they are more trusting. Perhaps it's a good thing that grandma doesn't have a computer or know how to e-mail? She can be protected. But then again my grandma is so stingy I can't image her sending money to Nigeria to a stranger. It's sad that I know someone who has been taken for a huge sum of money yet I do not know someone who has won a huge sum.
Stay informed, protect the elderly in your family and FIGHT BACK!
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Thinking my way thru the morning commute
Sitting in Traffic you get to thinking.
I would like to invent a device like the remote that turns off TVs in airports that would do the same to cellphones on the road. 80% of the people I see on the freeway are talking on the phone while driving. It is very frustrating when you are stuck behind some idiot concetrating on the phone more than the road and holding you up in the fast lane. If I had a device to turn that puppy off I would turn my frown upside down. Criss cross applesauce that buddies!
I travel the 91 west every morning to work and the best days to commute are when there is an accident on the 91 east of where I pick it up (Magnolia Blvd). I wouldn't wish that anyone be in an accident but wouldn't it be cool if there was a service that could create a disruption in the area behind you so that you could avoid traffic? A group of guys dressed in reflective vests jump out of a truck and start coning the freeway east of me down to one lane. Sweet.
I am back to considering a Hybrid vehicle for my next purchase because the price difference between the Escape Hybrid and the regular Escape is $3000 and not $10000 like it is for other hybrids. The thing is I try to avoid traveling slower that 40 mph and it is at the lower speeds that you really get the savings over the gas engine. Also I need to determine if in fact running the air requires the gas engine to kick in all the time and if I need to run the air all the time.
The best thing about my commute is listening to Opie & Anthony. Recently they had a comedian named Patrice on talking about how he needed to teach his girlfriend how to be a friend. She knew how the to be his girl, but she didn't know how to be his buddy like one of the guys. Opie & Anthony were tight lipped about this, guess they didn't want to ruffle anyone's feathers. The bottom line is that women are not your friends. They are sexy, sweet and wonderful companions but they will never be "your buddy". You can't go to a bar with your girl and talk about the rack on this one, or the ass on that one. At the same time you don't want to hang out with your girl checking out guys packages (do they even do that?).
I would like to invent a device like the remote that turns off TVs in airports that would do the same to cellphones on the road. 80% of the people I see on the freeway are talking on the phone while driving. It is very frustrating when you are stuck behind some idiot concetrating on the phone more than the road and holding you up in the fast lane. If I had a device to turn that puppy off I would turn my frown upside down. Criss cross applesauce that buddies!
I travel the 91 west every morning to work and the best days to commute are when there is an accident on the 91 east of where I pick it up (Magnolia Blvd). I wouldn't wish that anyone be in an accident but wouldn't it be cool if there was a service that could create a disruption in the area behind you so that you could avoid traffic? A group of guys dressed in reflective vests jump out of a truck and start coning the freeway east of me down to one lane. Sweet.
I am back to considering a Hybrid vehicle for my next purchase because the price difference between the Escape Hybrid and the regular Escape is $3000 and not $10000 like it is for other hybrids. The thing is I try to avoid traveling slower that 40 mph and it is at the lower speeds that you really get the savings over the gas engine. Also I need to determine if in fact running the air requires the gas engine to kick in all the time and if I need to run the air all the time.
The best thing about my commute is listening to Opie & Anthony. Recently they had a comedian named Patrice on talking about how he needed to teach his girlfriend how to be a friend. She knew how the to be his girl, but she didn't know how to be his buddy like one of the guys. Opie & Anthony were tight lipped about this, guess they didn't want to ruffle anyone's feathers. The bottom line is that women are not your friends. They are sexy, sweet and wonderful companions but they will never be "your buddy". You can't go to a bar with your girl and talk about the rack on this one, or the ass on that one. At the same time you don't want to hang out with your girl checking out guys packages (do they even do that?).
Friday, October 07, 2005
Are We Making Progress in the Middle East?
A letter reportedly from the leader of al Qaeda in Iraq to Osama Bin Laden was intercepted in early July that details al Zarqawi's concerns about their tactics in Iraq might turn muslims against al Qaeda. If this letter is legitimate then perhaps we are making progress on the War on Terror afterall.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/10/07/pentagon.al.qaeda/index.html
Bush's Speech Thursday morning was well prepared and was one of his best. Too bad he didn't save it for prime time. It's about time he put it out there that Iraq is a quagmire and it's his quagmire. I think the more he takes responsiblity for things, the better he will be perceived. To portray the war on terror as similar to the war on communism is kind of a stretch. I like the way he linked sacrifice to success and made it clear that people are dying and that they will continue to die until this war is over. That is how great change works. The fact that people do not want to deal with this issue is understandable but if we don't fight this war now we will pay in the long run. Like if you don't change the oil on your car regularly. Got that Fantasia Barrino?
Clearly if the US were to pull out that would make Iraq a terrorist haven.
Since Bush is looked on positively for taking responsiblity do you think he should admit his mistakes? Would that endear him to the American people and to the world?
If he admitted that he made a mistake and shouldn't have gone into Iraq in the first place would you feel better about the guy? Can he be saved in the opinions of guys like Sean Penn (do we care?) or Phil Donahue? Does it make him look weak or responsible?
I think if he did admit to his wrongs and used it as a basis to convince the world that the past is the past but that today we need to finish the job in Iraq things might be different.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/10/07/pentagon.al.qaeda/index.html
Bush's Speech Thursday morning was well prepared and was one of his best. Too bad he didn't save it for prime time. It's about time he put it out there that Iraq is a quagmire and it's his quagmire. I think the more he takes responsiblity for things, the better he will be perceived. To portray the war on terror as similar to the war on communism is kind of a stretch. I like the way he linked sacrifice to success and made it clear that people are dying and that they will continue to die until this war is over. That is how great change works. The fact that people do not want to deal with this issue is understandable but if we don't fight this war now we will pay in the long run. Like if you don't change the oil on your car regularly. Got that Fantasia Barrino?
Clearly if the US were to pull out that would make Iraq a terrorist haven.
Since Bush is looked on positively for taking responsiblity do you think he should admit his mistakes? Would that endear him to the American people and to the world?
If he admitted that he made a mistake and shouldn't have gone into Iraq in the first place would you feel better about the guy? Can he be saved in the opinions of guys like Sean Penn (do we care?) or Phil Donahue? Does it make him look weak or responsible?
I think if he did admit to his wrongs and used it as a basis to convince the world that the past is the past but that today we need to finish the job in Iraq things might be different.
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